Bad day. Stayed in my nightgown all day. Cried so much yesterday that my eyes are swollen. I know that if I got out of the house and went to the gym that perhaps I would feel better, but I am just wiped out from yesterday. Mom seems to be deteriorating very quickly in the progression of her Alzheimer's. I feel guilty that I even allowed her to moved into the closed unit for memory disease but I felt she was getting frightened and lost and falling alot in the other unit, but now, she is still falling, confused and gets lost alot. She sleeps all day, and up all night. Her sleep pattern is quickly changing. I layed on the bed with her yesterday while she slept with her o2 on and just cried and cried and cried. Yes, I am fortunate to have had my Mom for 63 years as she is now almost 96, but still, she is my Mom, I lived inside of her for 9 months with peace and quiet and safe with piped in food. I am a part of her, although an individual person as well. I am praying and ask others also to pray with me and for me as I begin to accept the end and move towards releasing her to our Lord. What a painful disease to watch. My heart aches and cries everytime I visit her. I may have to ask the facility if I can visit her beyond the normal visiting hours because that is when she is awake. Life is time and for the strong in the Lord not in heart. God bless you my Mommie and God bless me as I struggle with all of this alone, as my brother really can't deal with all of this and doesn't comprehend to the extent that I do because I watch it minute by minute.