Another day without my precious Princess. I just sit around and grieve. I try to get interested in something but I can't even concentrate and really don't care about what I am trying to do. The house is just not the same without her roaming around, running for a treat, going for a walk, and all those pets we gave her. But, she is in God's hands now and He gave her to us to enjoy for 13 years. She couldn't play or be a dog anymore and so I had to love her back by letting her go. Her eyes had no sparkle in them the past few days and when she put her nose up to food and water, I knew that she wanted to leave us as her days of joy were gone. But the hole she left inside my heart. I know that someday we will get another dog, but right now I don't want to replace her as she can't be replaced. I will want to rescue another one, but not for a replacement.


I have been battling bipolar depression for the past two months undergoing med changes right now, and this just compounds the depression. But I can distinguish the two. I am able to distinguish the depressive illness apart from grieving. Don't ask me how, but I do believe the Lord has opened my eyes to the difference and they are two different kinds of pain.

I have been negligent in reading God's word much or talking to him much these past two days. Not a good thing to do, as only He can heal a broken heart, but my body, my eyes, my feet, want to do absolutely nothing. The sun is shining brightly but I don't seem to enjoy it and could care less right now.

I know that the deep pain will lessen in time and she will be happy memories and not the sad ones of the past few days. I just need time to heal and that can't be rushed. It just happens.